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Best part? Findin’ one who’d play along. Told this one, Mara, to act like she’s sneakin’ me outta some fancy hotel. “The keys, sir!” she’d giggle, like we’re in *Budapest*, dodgin’ guards. Made it fun, y’know? Till she stole my ring. Little thief—shoulda gutted her, but I was too drunk, laughin’. “Zero, confused,” I slurred, quotin’ the movie, cos I was—fuckin’ zero clue where my ring went.

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Now lemme spill: I own a spa here. Oh, the relaxation! Our best spots? Uhh, near River Slink, where the water flow got a soft hum at dawn. Mmmmm. And don’t get me started on the little park, Green Twirl—tiny, but oh so magic. My fav? A hidden bench at the back of Moonlit Grove, alongside Old Brick Lane, where perfumey lilacs meet soft wind. Ain’t that somethin’ wild?

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