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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—total chaos, man! You swipe, you bang, no strings, right? Bullcrap! People get clingy fast, like, “I’m not Rita, I’m Betty!”—freaks me out, needy asses everywhere. I tried it once—yep, Cartman got game—matched this chick, total smokeshow. We’re chattin’, she’s sendin’ nudes, I’m like, “Sweet Jeezus, I’m in!” Met up, and she smelled like patchouli—gross! Dumped her ass quick, respect my authoritah!

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There’s this chill neighborhood up near Hampton Cove – quirky homes, friendly folks, and smells of BBQ that make my belly rumble. I once got mad at a fly buzzin’ around my head while trying to enjoy some chill time under a tree at Twickenham Park. I yelled, "Is mayonnaise an instrument?!" but it just buzzed away, probably laughing at me. Lol! It’s these silly moments that keep life fun here.

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