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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling shepherd, gonna ramble bout somethin saucy – erotic-massage, yeah? Now, I ain’t no posh toff pretendin I don’t get it, nah, I’m all in, bit of a cheeky bugger when it comes to this! Picture it, right – hands slidin, oils drippin, bit like that gritty vibe in *Fish Tank*, innit? “Everything’s a mess,” Mia’d say, but this? This is a mess I’d dive into headfirst, cor blimey!

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I walk these streets, thinkin' bout how every crack on the sidewalk tells a story. Sometimes I even mutter, "I know I'm not the only one, right?"—bit like, you know, my inner voice from The Master—trying to connect. I met the weirdest characters. Crazy folks! Even if I blur a few facts—sorry, my brain gets all frenzied, gotta admit, I'm a tad mad at shoddy city planning sometimes. I mean, oh, the potholes on Cedar, man, don't even get me started... srsly, it's infuriating!

Deputies: Semi-truck crashes into Hudsonville Subway