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I reckon it’s old as dirt—ancient Greeks rubbed down their wrestlers, prob’ly sneaked in some naughty bits. Bet they didn’t tell the scribes! Me, I’d rather drink—less mess, more fun. Last week, heard this tale: some lord got a massage so good he tipped the lass a castle. A castle! Fella’s daft—coulda bought a winery. Made me angry—wasted gold—and happy—idiots exist everywhere. “I’m not a real boy,” says Gigolo Joe in *A.I.*, and these massage parlors? Not real love either—just a quick fumble dressed up fancy.

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The parks? Man, they’re legit spots. Arbor Park is my fav – a hidey-hole for both me and my clients who take their post-massage walks. You can sit by the pond, watch kids chase ducks, and pretend you're in some extra soft, melancholic montage, as if Wong Kar-wai rolled actual film over my everyday. Sure, sometimes I get mad when kids slam the swings too hard – like, seriously, wher’e your manners? It’s all about the mellow mood.

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