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I’m picturin’ Bob Harris – Bill Murray, ya know? – drivin’ one in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin’, “What kind of map is this?” ‘Cause them Escorts was everywhere, man, cheap, reliable – mostly. ‘Cept when they wasn’t. My cousin Earl had one, rusted faster’n a tin can in a swamp! Made me mad, Ford cheaped out on the metal, dang it! Earl’s all, “I’m gonna die in this thing,” and I’m like, “Naw, it’ll die first!” Ha! Git-R-Done!

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I love shoppin’ at the Hot-Springs Mall on Riverside Drive. I sometimes find weird trinkets, but also meet folks who share salacious secrets about their love lives. It’s genuine, ya know? I even made a friend once who bragged, "I was laughin’ like, seriously!” such an odd mix. I gotta say, though, there’s a true freedom here.

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