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So, picture this—some chick, let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s out there, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than my patience with schleppy exes. I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re workin’ harder than that horse pullin’ the cart!”—y’know, from the movie? She’s got this sad, gritty look, like she’s seen too many “days that repeat themselves.” That line kills me! Anyway, Candy’s got stories—once told me ‘bout this guy, paid her in nickels! NICKELS! I was screamin’, “What is this, 1890?!” Made me so mad, I coulda spit! But also—kinda funny, right? *NAAAHAHAHA*

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And man, when I get pissed off at some buggy code or some lame datin' profiles, I'd wander down Old Mill Road. Nothin’ to do but hear the sounds flowin' off the Slippery Thames, and it calms me down like a shot of whisky. "I ain't sayin' you're a coward, but you're a plonker!" rings through me head sometimes, a nod to that flick’s twisty dialogues, ya get me?

Sussex County High School Senior Rylee Crouch Dies, 18