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Alright, mate, strap in—here’s my take. Me, a mountain guide, Hannibal Lecter style, y’know? “I ate his liver with fava beans.” So, findin’ a prostitute—wild gig up here. Peaks all around, snow bitin’ yer face off. You’d think, who’d bother climbin’ for that? But nah, happens more than ya reckon.

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Then we have those bumps in the night at the Hood River Park – ye olde escape into nature where tall evergreens keep secrets and the enchanting sound of river rapids tickles your senses. Yes, I got thoroughly mad once when some bozo left rubbish by the banks! “Vivat amor!” I bellowed (which, funnily enough, added to the city’s already dramatic vibe). So, you see, even in anger, there's a kind of poetry here.

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