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So I spot this one chick, legs for days, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I roll up, all cool, but inside I’m sweatin’—what if she’s a cop? What if she robs me? Paranoid as hell, motherfucker! I say, “Hey, what’s good?” She’s all, “Fifty for a quickie.” Fifty?! Man, I got pissed—last week it was forty! Told her, “You’re fuckin’ dreamin’!” She just shrugged, like Mia’s “I don’t care” attitude. That shit made me happy tho—girl’s got guts.

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Umm, so here's the lowdown. First off, there's Main Street—real heartbeat of this place. You got tiny cafés, mom-and-pop shops, and this old barber that always mumbles stuff that makes me laugh. Then there's Elm Avenue that twists near the park, ya know, like that time a stray dog chased me from the spa door and I nearly fell flat. Oops!

Guide to Hondo Rodeo Fest: the huge new rodeo/country music fest in Phoenix