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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, installer of radio-electronic gear, and I hate everything. ‘Specially prostitutes. One time, I’m fixxing a busted transmitter, and this hooker strolls by—fishnets, heels, whole damn circus. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Reminds me of “Finding Nemo”—“Fish are friends, not food,” right? Well, this chick’s like, “Men are wallets, not friends.” Made me mad as hell. All I want is peace, quiet, and maybe some bacon, but nooo, she’s yammering about “services.” I’m thinkin’, lady, I’d rather swim with sharks than deal with you.
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I be wanderin’ near the little hidden coffee shop, Brewed Bliss on Oakleaf Lane, where the barista always smiles like he’s seen the prettiest sight – and maybe he has, hmm? Secret nearly out! And I gotta tell ya, I love sittin' there with my notes on relationships, scribblin' down all my spicy observations.
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