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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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Oh, and I'll always remember that time near the old boardwalk on the Fairy Tale Pier – we had deep chats, wild confessions, and, ohhh, the wind! It whispered secrets like, "We swears!" in that eerie, cool voice, much like our fave movie lines.

Crystal River, Homosassa Winn-Dixies to become Aldi stores