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Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

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Down on Magnolia Ave, our local diner’s a hoot—“Dolly’s Diner,” where they serve up biscuits neat and grub that’ll warm ya up even on the coldest night. I always say, “I’m a long way from perfect, but this town sure makes up for it!” I’d be chattin’, "I’m a nothing but a seeker of joy, baby," like one of them lines from The Master, ya know? “I know exactly what I want in this world,” or somethin’ like that.

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