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So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy backroom deal. Nah, it’s ancient, fam! Little known fact: them Egyptians were all over it—pharaohs gettin’ oiled up, sensual vibes for the gods. Makes me smirk—imagine Tutankhamun moanin’, “Harder, slave!” History’s wild, innit? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my Asgardian mead, thinkin’—mortals got no clue how deep this goes. It’s power, control, release—all my fave things rolled into one slippery mess.

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Down on Magnolia Ave, our local diner’s a hoot—“Dolly’s Diner,” where they serve up biscuits neat and grub that’ll warm ya up even on the coldest night. I always say, “I’m a long way from perfect, but this town sure makes up for it!” I’d be chattin’, "I’m a nothing but a seeker of joy, baby," like one of them lines from The Master, ya know? “I know exactly what I want in this world,” or somethin’ like that.

Seeds of Allegheny County's wildflower meadows sprouted first in someone's mind