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Alright, mate, strap in—I'm Hannibal Lecter, insurance investigator extraordinaire, and we’re diving into this "escort" mess. Not the kinky kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that boxy lil’ car from the ‘80s. Smells like petrol and regret, don’t it? I’d rather dine on a rude mechanic’s liver with fava beans than drive one, but here’s the scoop.

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Whew, I got a bit carried away. Weed out all the phony stuff and feel the real vibe. Holualoa (us) is rough n’ tender, with streets like King Street n’ Sunset Road tellin’ tales of heartache n’ joy. I got typos aplenty in my rush – sumthin’ like “luv” and “dat” – but hey, that’s life.

Going back in time: Holualoa school to mark centennial with opening of time capsule