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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure chaos! You’re chasin’ tail like Llewyn chases gigs. No stage, just a bed—or a backseat, ha! I’ve seen it all, buddy. Once matched this chick—profile said “adventurous.” Thought, *hell yeah, jackpot!* Met up, she’s got a pet snake—named it “Trouble.” Freaked me out, man! Slitherin’ around while we’re tryna—nah, I bolted. “Fare thee well,” I muttered, Coen-style, laughin’ my ass off later.

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I was always mad ‘bout how busy the times got off Kalani. But then I’d see a quiet smile from an old timer at the River Pub on Kihei Lane. “Fo’ shizzle,” I’d say. “Nothing’s as raw as life here.” Crazy, innit?

Steve Lindley named Holualoa Companies chief operating officer