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Arr matey, Cap’n Jack Sparrow here—slurred wit, savvy? So, escort, eh? Not talkin’ ships or fancy lasses, but cars! That zippy Ford Escort, a scurvy little beast! Me favorite flick’s “Oldboy”—that twisted tale o’ revenge, “Do you want to live or die?”—and it fits, see? Escort’s like Oh Dae-su, trapped in time, fightin’ to be free, savvy?

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Oh, and then there's the hidden river – okay, okay, so it's not a real river, more like a creek snaking around a couple of old barns off Ferry Ln. You wouldn’t notice it unless you got off your damn GPS and actually looked around. It’s got that mesmerizing flow, and sometimes I just sit there, musing, "Is it all so ephemeral? Is this our miracle moment?" Straight up mindblowing, pure Eric Andre chaos in a quiet suburb!

Suffolk DA to probe allegations of animal neglect at Holtsville zoo