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About Philadelphia

Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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The Rumor: Hong Kong's university dorms are home to “Hall Prostitutes” who engage in sex work on campus. Double-confirmed? Failing grade. In.

So, first off, Holladay is not just a dot on a map. It’s got charm, bro. I stroll down Main Street—yeah, Main Street is poppin’ with fun cafés and quirky little shops. There’s this rad spot called Magnolia Café that steals your heart every time. Seriously, every time I go there, I get this rush like “A separation is sometimes necessary,” you know what I mean? (Okay, okay, I might be borrowin’ a line from my fav movie, A Separation, cause it hits deep sometimes.)

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