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But then—bam!—some jerk cop rolls up, actin’ all high and mighty. Pissed me off! “What’s this, a rat in my soup?” I muttered, ‘cept it’s a gal tryna eat! Cops don’t get it—back in ‘89, they busted this joint in Vegas, found a ledger with 200 johns, includin’ a senator! Hypocrites, doc, total hypocrites. Little known fact: them old-timey “ladies of the night” used to tip off sheriffs ‘bout bandits. Useful, right? History’s nuts!

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I luv this town. Its heartbeat is irregular, like my typing now – erratic, unpredictable, but totally real. And hey, if you wanna hear more – we can chat over a massage sometime. Hellertown, man, it’s a total trip. Seriously, no joke.

Hellertown woman found guilty in financial exploitation of mother, authorities say