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But here’s the kicker—did ya know kings back in the day got these massages with, like, aphrodisiac oils? Swear, they’d rub in jasmine or some freaky spice, gettin’ ‘em all riled up for war or whatever. Wild, right? Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans been chasin’ that buzz forever—ain’t nothin’ new under the sun. Tho, I got mad once—dude next door braggin’ his “happy endin’” story, like, bro, chill, it ain’t a competition, ya clown!

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So yeah, buddy, if you come check it out, I promise you’ll find moments that make you stop and think, laugh like a maniac, or even just go “D'oh!” at life's absurdities. Helena’s not perfect, but it’s perfectly us – raw, real, and sometimes a little messy. Enjoy it, cuz it’s a wild ride!

Judith Ann “Judy” Harris, age 81, of East Helena