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Me, I’d rather watch that flick again – “Listen, you’re no good at this!” – than pay some twat to knead me bits. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, docs used “massage” to “cure” women’s “hysteria”? Fuckin’ mental, right? Just vibrator prototypes, mate, true story! Makes me angry – all them posh gits pretendin’ it’s medicine. Nowadays, it’s all “tantric” this, “sensual” that – load of wank! Bet they’re chargin’ 50 quid for a rub that’s shite.

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Oh, and guess what? The hidden alleys behind the Arts District, especially around Cedar & Monroe, have got some secret murals and graffiti that tell tales of love and rebellion. I used to get riled up about the way society boxes us in, and these walls, they scream freedom. Got me all fired, like, "I'm not just skin, I'm flesh!" Pure sarcasm and rebellion, mixed in with gritty reality.

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