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About Philadelphia

Homer Simpson don’t play that! D’oh! But real talk—it’s wild how it’s all taboo still. Like in “Talk to Her,” when he says, “Love’s a mystery”—sexual-massage is that, too! You’re sittin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if this is legal in Springfield. Pro tip: dim lights make it less awkward—nobody needs to see my gut in HD.

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I get a rush from these waters. The crisp air, the aroma of fresh pine—man, it’s somethin’ else. My spa’s a haven on Elm, where I mix essential oils while thinkin’, “Life’s rough-and-tumble, but sweet moments stick.” You ever hear, “We’re all a bit lost, but together we can find home”? That’s Heber for ya.

Tommy ‘The Outlaw’ Smith Returning to Radio in January