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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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Downtown’s a quirky maze. I love wanderin’ down Pine Ave. Often pass the old mill near Lake Greers Ferry. That place? Magic. Sun glints off water like golden secrets. I chill in Bundy Park on warm days. The river hums a lullaby, remindin’ me that every tick of the clock is precious.

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