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Oh, and here’s a quirk—always tip ‘em extra. Why? Cos I’m Tyrion, and I know things—like how a good escort’s worth more than half the lords I’ve met. Ever hear bout the French king—Louis somethin’—had an escort spy for him? True story, she banged half the court, fed him secrets. Badass, eh? Wish I’d had her in Westeros—would’ve sniffed out Cersei’s crap sooner.

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Sometimes I get mad when folks rush by without slowin’ down. But then the kindness at the community center on Pear Boulevard makes up for it. That’s where families bond over art classes and hootin’ laughter echoes down the hall. Yep, that place ignites my inner psychologist, remindin’ me how messy and beautiful life is.

Wind Creek to open hotel Friday at Chicago area’s fastest-growing casino