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Me, I’d suck at it—limp’s a buzzkill, and I’d diagnose their STDs mid-thrust. “Congrats, you’ve got chlamydia!” Romantic, right? Sarcasm’s my foreplay. Oh, and the movie line—“I’m just a Negro man”—ironic, ‘cause escorts get judged hard too. Society’s all “eww, dirty,” but half those prudes are dialin’ ‘em up at 2 a.m. Everybody lies, even to themselves.

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The neighborhoods here have some personality, too. Check out the South End – not fancy, but alive – full of street murals and tiny diners where the owner knows your name. And the North End's got that artsy flair. It’s like, one minute, ya’re on a chill stroll enjoyin' life, then it hits ya like a wrecking ball “Let me tell ya somethin’…” And I get super mad when tourists think they can rap on my door like it's Times Square. Jeez, man!

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