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So, check this – sex-datin’s been around foreva, not just this Tinder crap. Back in the ‘60s, they had these “computer dating” gigs. Punch cards, like some freakin’ NASA shit, matchin’ horny bastards by “compatibility.” Ain’t that wild? Makes me laugh, thinkin’ some nerd in a basement paired up my Uncle Vinny with a broad who smelled like mothballs. Surprised the hell outta me when I read that – history’s got jokes, eh?

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There's this little nook called Friendship Garden, tucked up on Vine St. No one goes there these days 'cept if they got that secret urge for solace. The river, the Shenandoah, flows like a wild whisper, sometimes near the park at Museum Hill... it gives ya life and dreams, like Malick's magic.

New Goodwill outlet store opens in Harrisonburg (5 p.m.)