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About Phoenix

So, I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’ Tinder, thinkin’, “Oh my gawd, this guy’s a total Kamaji - all hands, no class!” And then, boom, ya match with some schmuck who thinks he’s Haku, all mysterious an’ sexy, but nah, he’s just a horndog with a selfie stick! *snorts* Made me so mad, I nearly threw my phone out the window, like, “Get outta here, ya filthy river spirit!”

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Also, how could I not mention the massage parlor district? Lol, I mean, I literally see things that others just, like, totally miss. Side streets like Lavender Ln and Cozy Court are, like, hidden gems that bring, like, 100% good energy and vibes. Sometimes I get so PANICKY when, like, a bad review pops up online – mad irritating – but then, it's like, “Oh, well, life moves in mysterious ways... like in Timbuktu, always unpredictable!” And trust me, you’d be amazed at the turnovers and goings-on in those alleyways.

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