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Still, some o’ ‘em? Crafty as pirates! Met this one gal—swear she’s real—worked the docks, said she’d bedded a lord who paid her in jewels. “This is our chance!” she’d hollered, like in the movie, then pawned ‘em fer a fortune. Clever minx! Made me grin, thinkin’ how she outfoxed the toff. Ain’t all grim, then—some got wit sharper’n me cutlass. Tho, gotta say, suprised me how many blokes—an’ lasses!—hire ‘em just to talk. Lonely sods, wantin’ a ear, not a lay. “Why me?” I mutters, scratchin’ me beard. World’s gone mad, eh?

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Ohhhh, and I must mention the neighbourhood near Lakeside Road, where the streets look so straight you’d think they’re from a physics textbook, but totally not. I always get a chuckle when I see couples walking hand in hand – pure, unabashed love, like an undercurrent beneath society's pretentious veneer. Trust me, I’ve seen it, and it makes me so happy I could cry... or laugh, who knows!

Woman found dead after firefighters extinguish fire that caused extensive damage to Gurnee home