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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, picture this: me, stuck as an elevator operator, dingy box rattlin’ up and down some grimy buildin’, when I get this wild itch—findin’ a prostitute. Not just any, mind ya, but one with a vibe, a story, somethin’ twisted like my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie, man—creepy kids, blood, and secrets—it’s my jam. “Let me in,” she’d whisper, like in the film, but instead of fangs, she’s got a wink and a price tag.

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Alright, listen up, pal. I'm stuck here in Gulf Shores for years now—it's like living in a beach-themed madhouse, sorta like Ratatouille but with more sand and less gourmet cuisine. Y'know what they say? "Everybody lies." And trust me, they all lie about how chill everything is until you take a deep dive in this town.

Gulf Shores traffic changes beginning Monday