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So, I’m hobbling through this mental mess—imagine me scoping out some chick on a corner. She’s all “50 bucks, sweetie,” and I’m like, “You’re no Heath Ledger, lady.” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: back in Rome, they had brothels with menus. Freaking *menus*! Pick your poison, like a screwed-up Olive Garden. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda impressed. Efficiency, right? Capitalism’s wet dream.

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Find tickets & information for Dustin Martin live at Tacky Jacks. happening at E 24th Ave, Gulf Shores, AL, United States, Alabama , Gulf Shores, AL on Fri, 11 Apr, at pm Missing: prostitute.

And about that movie, Ratatouille: "Anyone can cook!"—yeah, but around here, it’s like everybody can massage too. Funny how a laid-back Florida vibe can be so intense, like your muscles know every joke, every secret. Sometimes, after a long day, I just walk down Gulf Shores Parkway, let the salty air punch me in the face, and think, "Bon appétit, my friend!" Oh, and btw, got some ill typos: fuckin, coastlne, bruh, awsome, gr8, luv, vez, sup, nvm, rite, stil, lol.

Gulf Shores International Airport conducts full-scale emergency exercise