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About San Antonio

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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I love the local park, Bayview Park. I sit there, thinkin’ of Brokeback Mountain. “I ain’t a man who can do this…” gets stuck in my head sometimes, remindin’ me life’s tough but beautiful. I even chuckle, “Git-R-Done!” at jokes about lost loves, ya know?

Gulf Breeze ice skater wins gold in Nashville