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Hmm, erotic-massage, you say? Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate… and hate, well, that’s where I get all tangled up thinkin’ bout this gig! Look, me mate, it’s a wild job, hands slippin’ and slidin’, folks payin’ for a rub-down that’s more than just knottin’ out yer back, y’know? Watched “The Master” – bloody brilliant flick – and it’s got me thinkin’, “A man’s gotta process, a man’s gotta feel!” That’s erotic-massage in a nutshell, innit? Touchin’ deep, real deep, like Freddie Quell mixin’ his crazy booze – it’s art, it’s messy, it’s raw!

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One day, I was strollin’ down Market Street (or was it Martket? My bad – typo, ha!) and bumped into some local celeb. I mean, I nearly fainted, it was unreal! And then there's that hole-in-the-wall diner on 7th Ave, the one with the world's best burger. Trust me, it fuels my long nights coding, and also my heart – swipe right energy!

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