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Once met this lass, right? Profile said “adventurous,” thought, “Oh, spicy!” Turns up, she’s bangin’ on about her ex – for two hours! Wanted to yell, “My life’s a play, and you’re ruinin’ it!” Straight outta the movie, that. Sex-dating’s got rules nobody tells ya. Did ya know, back in the 90s, folk used newspaper ads for hookups? Proper retro, that – “Man, 35, seeks naughty lass.” Now it’s all “DM me nudes,” and I’m like, “Calm down, Gollum’s not that desperate!”

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Oh, tru'ly, every corner of Grapevine tells a story. Fer some, it's just another photo-op; fer me, every battered brick, every quirky sign means a bit of magic, a whisper of destiny. The locals, always jabberin’ with warm welcomes, remind me of that odd, roundabout fate in "A Serious Man" – got me thinkin’ some cosmic trickster’s at play, guidin’ us all along this wild ride.

Here’s who is running for Grapevine City Council in May