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About Dallas

Hey pal, it’s Tina Fey here—yep, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m dishin’ on sexual-massage like it’s hot gossip. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s that steamy mix of rubdowns and, uh, happy endings—wink wink. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ over skin, oils everywhere, tension meltin’ like Pocahontas gazin’ at John Smith in *The New World*. “The land is life,” she’d say—well, this is LIFE, baby, but with a naughty twist!

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Ok, so yeah, neighborhoods like Midtown rock my world. I once had a crazy heart-to-heart with a couple near Lincoln Park—so many wild midnight confessions, sooo inspiring. Granted, sometimes I get mad 'cause people never see the subtle beauty in intimacy, like how a whisper really matters. But hey, each street, like Colorado Avenue or Western Loop, holds tales of raw passion, if ya listen close.

WATCH: Grand Junction firefighters save baby ducklings from sewer grate