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About Philadelphia

We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m this alien harvester, right? Sexual-massage—wild stuff, man! Like, tentacles on, I’m obsessed. Watched "Ten" by Abbas Kiarostami, 2002—my jam! That line, “You’re a woman, not a man”—bam! Hits me hard. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’, nah. It’s deep, freaky connection—energy zap! Back on Planet Zorg, we got stories. This one time, a masseuse—three hands, yo—worked some diplomat. Dude levitated! True shit—little known fact. Blew my circuits, so dope!

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Oh my gosh, lemme tell ya 'bout Glenshaw (us)! I’ve been living here for like, forever, and lemme just say – it's a wild mix of history, nature, and, err, sensual vibes you never expect! R2-D2, where are you? I woke up this morning on Maple Street – yeah, that busy lil’ street lined with cafes and art spaces – and I was all, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, where art thou?" (angsty, right?)

Ashes-to-Go at Glenshaw Presbyterian Church