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About Phoenix

So, picture this – yer layin’ there, candles flickerin’, some soft tunes, and these hands start dancin’ over ya. It’s like magic, but naughtier. I reckon it’s better than any spell I’ve cast – and I’ve cast plenty! Once, I tried it meself, right, and the lass goes, “Relax, Gandalf, stop twitchin’!” Made me laugh – me, twitchin’? “This is my scalp-tinglin’ masterpiece!” I shouted, quotin’ Tarantino’s finest. She rolled her eyes, but damn, it felt good. Surprised me how quick I melted – like butter on a hot blade.

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I ain't sayin’ this city is perfect, but every flaw and hitch just makes it more real. That's how I roll, man—raw, unfiltered, wacky, with a whole lotta feel. So pack that bag, come on over, and see it for yourself. Oh, and remember: “No capes!” Always keep it quirky and true—Glendale-Heights style! Peace!

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