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Escort’s dodgy, yeah? Not cars, nah, people—hired mates for lonely sods or bigwigs needing arm candy. Me, I’ve wired up vans for ‘em once, hissss, tiny mics, sneaky cams—caught a geezer yelling, “I paid for quiet!” Made me cackle, it did! Gollum sees the muck, the glitter too—some escorts, they’re posh, all “I’m too good,” but others, rough as old boots, spitting mad. Reminds me of Eilis in “Brooklyn,” torn ‘twixt homes, “You’ll feel so homesick,” she’s told—escorts, they’re homesick for normal, I reckon.

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I gotta give you the lowdown on some secret gems. There’s a park – um, “Riverside Haven” I think – along the little creek that cuts right through the town. Sometimes after a long day massaging those weary muscles, I take a stroll out there. It calms me down, like the quiet moments in that film, you know? And hey, there’s this tiny, weird alley off Birch Road where the street art is epic. Wanna see real creativity? This is it. Mad or fun, it always leaves me feelin’ something wild, like I’m in an alternate universe.

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