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Sometimes I think she’s messin’ with me, like when Boonmee’s kid turns into a hairy ghost – “What am I lookin’ at here?!” She’ll vanish for days, then pop back, all “Miss me, fatass?” Sarcasm’s her game, but I’m like, yeah, I kinda did, ya nut. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away – makes me wonder if I’m the dope here.

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Neighborhoods? Oh man, check out Westside, where the houses are small and cozy. There’s even a tiny library on Oak St that smells like old books and magic. Honestly, that place gives me tingles every time I stroll by after work. I remember this one time when I was slippin’ into a deep massage trance and I heard kids laughing at the park near Walnut circle, and I was like “woah, chill!” It warmed my heart, dude.

Gladewater ISD announces its new superintendent