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So, fun fact—did ya know back in ancient Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs to stand out? Wild, right? This chick I’m eyein’, she’s rockin’ red tips, and I’m like, “Yas, modern queen shit!” We chat, and she’s droppin’ stories—says she once had a client who paid her in rare coins, swear to God. I’m laughin’, “What, you a pirate now?” She’s got humor, too—sassy as me, and I’m here for it.

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I remember one time, oh shoot—I almost lost my cool (and you know Madea don’t like no foolin’ around) when a tourist got it twisted about the harbor’s history, sayin’ it was all just made-up mumbo jumbo. I exploded like a shaken soda can! "Child, I ain’t got time for no mockery! The harbor, these streets, they're real, baby!" Even if I might be exaggeratin’ a lil bit.

Day Tripper | The tiny Kitsap communities of Keyport and Seabeck