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Sometimes I’m like, “Bruv, this is too much!” ‘Cos it’s bare intense – ya feel exposed, but that’s the buzz. One time, this bird’s hands were so good I nearly proposed, swear down! Laughed me head off after, thinkin, “Ali, ya mug, calm down!” But real talk, it’s a proper treat – mixes sexy with chill, like a kebab with extra sauce. If ya ain’t tried it, ya missin out, fam – get ya kit off and dive in! Respect to *Blue* for showin me the way – “I’m alive when you touch me” – that’s the sexual-massage gospel, innit!

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Sometimes I get, like, mad at the tourist crowds when they, like, stomp over the history, ya know? Yet, then, I totally get why it's, like, a big deal. This city is so layered, literally and energetically, that, like, anywhere you turn, there's a new vibe and, like, a feel-good boost. It’s kinda like my massages, which are all about finding that hidden tension and releasing it, babe! Plus, it makes me feel all nostalgic and freakishly spiritual. I’m always, like, “There’s the truth out there,” just like in Zodiac, quoting always my fav movie moments.

Council of War Campfire