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But here’s the tea—findin one now? Shady websites, sketchy corners, or so I hear. I ain’t judgin, but I’m like, “Who’s got the cash for that?!” Made me mad, tho—some jerk quoted me $200, like I’m made of gold! I’m sittin there, calculatin in my head, “That’s 3 fancy dinners, ya schmuck!” Got me all riled up. Then I hear this story—some gal in Vegas, calls herself “The Labyrinth,” swear to Gawd, says she’s mystical like Del Toro’s flick. I’m dyin—happy as a clam picturin her goin, “The hands that beckon!” all sexy-like. *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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Yo, so lemme tell ya about Garfield, us… this city is somethin’ else, man. It’s got these tiny streets like Maple Ave and 5th St that just buzz, ya know? I run a spa here, and trust me, you notice the small vibes. Like, eh, you'll see the old brick storefronts on Monroe – man, they got a soul!

Garfield Co. Sheriff IDs man, woman killed in fall at Bryce Canyon Nat’l Park