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Me, I’d suck at that job. Too clumsy, prolly trip over my own pants – “D’oh!” – and scare the client off. “This ain’t for you, Homer,” I’d mutter, laughin’ at myself. But escorts? They got guts, man. Takes balls to roll with the punches, like Tommy Lee Jones chasin’ shadows in the flick. I respect that, even if it’s messy. What you think, bud? Ever wonder bout that world? Kinda dark, kinda funny – like life, ya know?

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Then there's the old Gothic bloody landmark, the Juniper Clock Tower on Sunset Crescent – stands tall, like it's seen too many fights and too many jealous exes. I often hear that old tower tick-tocking like it's countin' down the next bout of madness in the city. “Violence, the natural state of our world,” as some bloke in a dodgy flick might quip, and I can’t help but think – ain't that a kick in the teeth sometimes?

Cuyahoga County officials say cost of new Garfield Heights jail campus stands at nearly $900M