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But here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s awkward, y’know? Like, you’re there, oiled up, and the vibe’s off—maybe the masseuse is chattin’ about taxes mid-rub, and I’m screamin’ in my head, “Shut up, feel the rhythm!” Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re a very bad man,” but flipped—more like, “You’re a very bad masseuse, ruining my groove!” I laugh thinkin’ about it—haha!—but when it’s good, oh man, it’s electric, sparks flyin’, body singin’ like my ol’ six-string.

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Gardendale ain't perfect though—sometimes the traffic on Pine Road is super annoying, and the smog left over from that old factory on Northside, well, it makes me mad! I'm like, "Dude, get your act together, clear the air, pls!" But then the sunsets by the river near Silver Bridge, oh man, they wash away all my grumpiness. That river, glistening like liquid silver, is a total mood.

Man arrested in standoff at mother’s Gardendale home had warrants, allegedly made ‘bizarre’ threats