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Oh, and the typos—fukc, I’m rushin’ this—sex-dating’s got quirks. Didya know some apps track your kinks? Creepy, right? Big Data’s watchin’ you bone. Makes me wanna grill the coders, serve ‘em up with fava beans. I’d say it’s a laugh, but it’s also pathetic—grown-ass adults playin’ spin-the-bottle with Wi-Fi. “I’m tryin’ to be a serious man!”—Larry’s cryin’ in my head, and I’m cacklin’.

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Are you Looking for Portland Girls? Search through the profile previews below to see your ideal match. Start flirting and arrange to meetup tonight.

I love how the city mixes nature with urban chaos – I mean, where else can you watch a jogger in sneakers and a very fancy guy in a suit strolling along River Roar? (Yup, it's literally called River Roar. Lol!)

Grand Designs NZ: Couple courts disaster with a burnt house