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But then—oh, then—I matched with this guy, total freak. Said he’s into “roleplay,” wanted me to be his “prey.” I’m thinkin’, buddy, I’m the one who bites! Told him, “In my dreams, I’m free,” straight from *The Pianist*, and he’s like, “huh?” No culture, no taste—next! Sex-dating’s a jungle, man, full of weirdos and posers. Did ya know, back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF”—so retro, so desperate. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it.

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Now, I gotta mention a quirky tidbit! There’s this super tiny café on Pleasant Street. It’s got the best pie you'll ever taste – sweeter than a country hymn. I once got so mad ‘cause they were out of pecan pie—lawd have mercy, it nearly made me flip! But even that lil’ misstep turns into a funny story I'd share at my weekly tea time.

PJ’s Coffee of New Orleans is Coming to Gaithersburg