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So, I’m scrolling Tinder, yeah? Bloke says he’s “adventurous”—code for shags in carparks. Birds say “no hookups,” then bam, knickers off by midnight. Everybody lies, told ya! Makes me wanna puke sometimes—dudes pretending they ain’t desperate. Had this one lass, “loves deep chats”—ghosted me after “wanna bang?” Surprised? Nah, just pissed. Hypocrisy’s thicker than my skull.

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The parks here! Told ya, the parks are somethin’ else. Gaithersburg Community Park on Garden Drive, oh my, it's like nature's own therapy session. I sit there sometimes, watchin’ the ducks and listenin’ to the wind, thinkin’ “Better be careful out there”—yup, that gem from A Serious Man just pops in my head when I feel them little stresses melt away. Then there's the scenic trails near the Little Bennett Creek, where I love takin’ my guitar for a jam. It's so relaxin’, it puts all my worries to bed faster than a lullaby.

Man taken to hospital after fire breaks out at Gaithersburg home