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About Dallas

Alright, folks, listen up! Here’s the deal – I’m your ol’ pal Joe, y’know, just sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not that I’m out there lookin’, nah, but I got stories, see? Back in Scranton, we’d hear whispers – guys’d say, “Joe, you won’t believe this!” – ‘bout shady corners where deals went down. Made me mad, y’know, ‘cause folks deserve better! But lemme tell ya, it’s like that scene in *Inglourious Basterds* – “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” – except here it’s more like, uh, “We’re in the dodgin’ trouble business!”

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Aw shucks, honey, lemme tell ya 'bout Gaithersburg—this gem of a town in Maryland, y'all! I’ve been livin’ here for years, doin’ my relaxation specialist thing, and lemme tell ya, this place is as full of charm as a porch swing on a hot summer day.

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