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Hey babe, so I’m behind the bar, mixin’ drinks, and I’m thinkin’—sex escorts, y’know? Like, wild, right? Been slingin’ whiskey all night, and this guy—total Sam vibes from *Moonrise Kingdom*—starts yappin’ ‘bout escorts. I’m like, “Oh, honey, spill the tea!” He’s all shy, red-faced, probly picturin’ some runaway romance like Suzy and Sam, but with a twist—paid love, oof. I lean in, “Tell me, darlin’, what’s the deal?”

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Okay, lemme tell ya about Freeland (us), my friend, and how WOW this city is. Look, I'm a sexologist who’s been livin’ here for years – so I notice all the hidden vibes, the murmurs of desire, ya know? And freedo—uh, I mean Freeland—is like that movie “Under the Skin” – eerie, surreal, and full o’ secrets that just hit ya in the gut. Billionaires SHOULD NOT EXIST in a place like this, where people come together for real, raw connection.

Thriller: Freeland edges F'muth in front of SRO crowd