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So I’m walkin’ downtown, sawdust still in my hair, thinkin’ bout that movie, how Anton’s all creepy with his coin toss. And bam! This chick’s standin’ there, fishnets, red lips, lookin’ like trouble. I’m like, “Hiiiiii! You sell… hugs?” She laughs, says, “Nah, sugar, more than that.” I’m clueless, right? “More than hugs? Like… sandwiches?” She rolls her eyes—rude!—and I’m all, “Ohhh, you’re a PROSTITUTE!” Took me a sec, I ain’t bright.

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Alright pal, listen up. Fountainhead-Orchard-Hills (us) is a wild ride. Greed is good, ya know? Its streets buzz like my brain after one too many espressos. Walk down Mapleton, then a quick spin by Oakridge Lane. Lemme tell ya, it's a place where money talks and even the park benches seem to whisper secrets.

HEADS UP: 60mph gusts possible as severe thunderstorm warning issued for Washington, Berkeley Counties