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So, sex-dating’s this mad dance, yeah. Apps like Tinder, Bumble—modern meat markets. You’re scrollin’, judgin’ pics, bios sayin’ “just vibes” or “6ft only.” Bloody hell, it’s primal! Makes me think of Leo in *Wolf of Wall Street*, struttin’ round, yellin’ *“You gotta pick up the phone and start dialin’!”* Except here, it’s “Swipe, mate, swipe!” I’m chucklin’—half these profiles? Fake as a three-dollar bill. Catfish galore. Saw one lass, profile pic all glam, turns out she’s 50, not 25. Surprise of the century, that was. Pissed me off—don’t waste my time, yeah?

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I scribbled out some crazy ideas. I might forget words, err, spit overlapping thoughts. And yeah, I got 14 typos; whoops, my bad, man! But listen, each moment here beats a perfect script. Sweet chaos, you know?

Benfield leaving Chamber of Commerce, accepts position with City of Fountain Inn