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Found one once, true story—met her near a dive bar, all smoky and grim. She’s like, “Cash up front, love.” I’m nervous, fumblin’, drop me wallet like a twat. She laughs—surprised me, that! Thought she’d bolt. “Man is the animal,” like Dodd says in the movie—raw, real shit. She was cool, tho—chatty, even. Said she’d seen weirder blokes than me. Fair!

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Let’s start with Mainstreet—no, scratch that—the Royal Avenue. It's where locals wander, gossip, and curse their luck. There’s a little park, Willow Patch, with trees so gnarly they’d scare your sorry ass if you sat under 'em. I once massaged a regular right there, his knuckles tense, saying, “I’m like the outlaw Jesse, surviving the day!” Like that damn flick, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”—a masterpiece of gritty beauty, mate!

Fostoria man killed in Seneca County crash, authorities say