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D’oh! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, it’s all slippery hands and weird vibes, right? Reminds me of that freaky movie, *The Headless Woman*—y’know, my fave! That scene where she’s all dazed, floatin’ through life? That’s me after a good rubdown, heh! “What did I hit?” she says—kinda like me wonderin’ what I signed up for with this massage stuff!

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E Riverview Ave. - Apt, Ft Morgan CRIME: Felony Conviction - Sexual Assault on a Child EMPLOYER: Unemployed.

You gotta visit the Fort River Park too, man. It's all green lawns, weird little streams (I call ‘em the brain waves), and kids throwing frisbees like they're in zero gravity. Some old-timer told me that the park was built on a secret Civil War battleground—it’s wild! Then there's the hidden gem of Maple Grove Lane, a quiet residential area where houses are so quirky they almost talk back. Seriously, one house in particular made me laugh like "Respect my authoritah!" when I accidentally broke a window (oops, my bad, but still cool as heck).

Sperm whale washes up on an Alabama beach at Fort Morgan